With acknowledgments to "The Cubicle Dweller's Survival Guide"
Do Your Bit For Project Carrot -
CONSTRUCT YOUR VERY OWN
CAPTAIN CARROT
STEPS:
1. Find some push pins and two, maybe three paper clips. Two of the push pins need to be the same colour, and the paper clips need to be of medium size. No big clips. This is very important unless your Captain Carrot's body needs big clips to hold its weight.
2. Find a body for Captain Carrot. My suggestion is to start out with a baby carrot. Someone you know will have baby carrots. Just take one. They won't care.
3. Take your two same coloured push pins and stick them in the side of the baby carrot, about one third of the way down, as shown in Figure D.
4. Take your third push pin and stick it into the top of the baby carrot, as if it were a hat. In reality, it is Captain Carrot's cap. Starting to piece together, isn't it?
5. Find those paper clips. Take one and bend it as shown in Figure E. Take the other and do the same.
6. Take Captain Carrot and push the paper clips into his bottom as shown in Figure F. You will have to adjust the "legs" to ensure proper balance. He can be unstable,
JUST LIKE PEOPLE'S JOBS
7. Finally, get a ball point pen (only ball point pens work for carrots, trust me on this) and draw in Captain Carrot's eyes, nose and mouth. Make him happy, for creation is joy. (Figure G)
8. Stand him up on your computer or anywhere you would like him to stand. If you would like him to be a her, then she is. It's that simple.
You have now demonstrated to everyone your commitment to Project Carrot and Sustainability. See what happens as Captain Carrot ages - he is just like us, as he gets older, he gets thinner and thinner and more shrivelled and cynical until he is as hard as a rock and an even more permanent fixture here than you will ever be.
IN SHORT - HE IS TRULY SUSTAINABLE
If your carrot man isn't standing up like he should (that is, without falling flat on his back), cut a piece of a third paper clip off with your scissors. Take this piece and stick it up the little fellow's backside. Being shafted should keep him on his toes.